Of Cuddlesluts and Hug n' Rolls
by I Spiked the Ice Cream
Summary: "Do you two ever stop that?"  "Stop what?"  "Being adorable."  Finn has a problem.  Kurt has a solution.  Based on the season 3 episode of Friends, "The One with the Jam."  Oneshot, COMPLETE.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee. Or Friends. But I'm working on it, really. (No, not really. I've got nothing.)

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><p>"I love it when you leave your hair ungelled."<p>

"Mmm." Blaine nuzzled his head into Kurt's hand that was running through his hair. "If you keep doing that, maybe I'll lay off the gel more often."

Kurt smiled and kissed the top of Blaine's head. "I wouldn't mind that." A comfortable silence settled between the two men. Kurt buried his nose in Blaine's curls, just enjoying their moment of bliss. The only sounds were the noises of the city outside their apartment. That is, until –

"Ugh, Finn, I cannot _believe_ you right now!" Rachel stomped into the living room of their apartment. Blaine sat up from his place on Kurt's chest to observe the scene before them. Kurt followed suit as Finn trailed in behind her.

"Rachel, I don't even know what I did!" Rachel's eyes went wide. Blaine leaned over to Kurt.

"Wrong thing to say," he whispered; Kurt nodded, but didn't take his eyes away from the arguing couple.

"You don't even know what you _did_? I-I just…you…_ugh_!" With that, Rachel stormed off to her room, slamming the door behind her. Finn flinched and collapsed into the armchair, his head in his hands. Kurt and Blaine exchanged a look. Blaine nodded his head towards Finn, silently telling Kurt to ask his stepbrother what was wrong. Kurt scrunched up his nose in protest, to which Blaine responded with a knowing expression. Kurt's shoulders sagged as he gave in.

"Alright, Finn," Kurt said, clasping his hands together. "What'd you do this time?"

Finn sighed. "I don't even know! We were shopping and she was trying on all these clothes and there was this one dress that she apparently really liked so she tried it on and then she asked me if she looked fat in it. So I looked at her –"

"Whoa, whoa. You _looked_ at her?" Kurt interrupted.

Finn looked lost. "Yeah, so? What's wrong with that?"

Blaine shook his head. "Well, for one thing, you _never_ look at her." Kurt nodded.

Finn shook his head, completely confused. "But I…what?"

Kurt shook his head as Blaine smiled understandingly. "You never _look_, Finn," Blaine said. "You just answer. It's like a reflex: Do I look fat? No! Is she prettier than I am? No! Does size matter?"

Kurt spoke up. "_No!_"

"And it goes both ways," Blaine said, pointing between him and Kurt. Finn nodded, seeming to understand better.

"Oh…So you guys just like, know this stuff? Is there some course you take or something when you become a couple?" Kurt shook his head as Blaine smiled sadly.

"No, Finn, there isn't a course," Kurt said. "It's just that after enough arguments, you kind of pick up on these things." Blaine smiled at Kurt understandingly and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. Kurt grinned.

Finn smiled crookedly. "Okay so like, I've got another thing." Blaine gestured for Finn to keep going. "So Rachel likes to cuddle, right? And that's all good and everything, but at some point I'd like to –"

"Oh god, stop. Just dear god, stop. I do not want to hear about my stepbrother's sex life, no thank you."

Finn's brow furrowed. "What? No! No, I wouldn't talk to you about that anyway."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "And why wouldn't you?"

Finn's eyes widened. "What? But you said –"

"Guys! Can we get on with this?" Blaine looked between the two. Kurt sat back, gesturing for Finn to continue.

"Anyway, so she likes to cuddle, and I'm fine with that, but eventually I want to go to sleep. And you know, I'm a big guy. I need my room. So how do I tell her that without like, accidentally calling her fat or something?" Blaine let out a chuckle.

"Sorry, buddy. Can't help you there. Kurt and I are cuddly sleepers, right babe?" Blaine grinned as he took Kurt's hand and placed a kiss on his palm. Kurt smiled back at him, then turned to Finn.

"Yeah, sorry Finn. Not really sure how to fix that one." He shrugged, then stood up, pulling Blaine along with him.

"Come on, hun. You've gotta get ready for work," Kurt said, pushing Blaine into their room. Blaine stopped in the doorway, pouting.

"I don't wanna. Can't I just stay here with you?" Blaine pulled Kurt towards him by his belt loops, nuzzling his nose with Kurt's. "We could cuddle…" he suggested, kissing Kurt lightly on the lips. "Or you know, we could do…something else," he whispered suggestively. Kurt smirked.

"As much as I'd love to do…something else, you really need to go to work." Blaine frowned. "Honey, look at it this way. The sooner you get to work, the sooner you'll be home. Which means…" Blaine brightened.

"We can cuddle?" he asked hopefully. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Sure. Now get your ass in gear, Anderson," Kurt said with a playful smack to Blaine's butt. He grinned and shut the door behind him. Kurt headed back into the living room, where Finn was still resting in the armchair. He sat back down on the couch, a smile gracing his features.

Finn sighed. "Do you two ever stop that?"

"Stop what?"

"Being adorable," Finn deadpanned.

Kurt grinned smugly. "Guess not."

"Ugh, it's so unfair. You guys like, never have any problems, do you? I mean, it's not like Blaine is a clingy cuddle-er." Kurt's brow furrowed.

"Clingy cuddle-er? Really?"

"Look, I don't know! Just be happy that you don't have to deal with this stuff! Because Blaine's the perfect boyfriend!"

"Finn, do you honestly think that Blaine and I don't have relationship issues? Of course we do. Everyone does. Look, if it'll make you feel better…the cuddling thing? Blaine totally does that too. And I'm like you, I need the room."

"Wait, really? He's a clingy cuddle-er too?"

"Are you kidding? Blaine loves cuddling. He's like a frickin' puppy when he sleeps," Kurt said, waving a hand dismissively. Finn brightened a little bit.

"Okay, so like, what do you do? I mean you must know something you can do, right?" Kurt nodded and motioned for Finn to join him on the couch. Finn complied and sat next to him.

"Okay, so here's what you do. It's called the 'hug and roll.'"

"The 'hug and roll?'"

"Yes, now don't interrupt. Okay, so you're in bed and he – or she, in your case – is on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for him – or her – to drift off, and then you hug hi-her and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you roll away. Hug for her, roll for you. Got it?"

Finn grinned. "Yeah, okay. I got it! Aw man, thanks dude!"

Kurt smiled. "No problem. Just, don't ever tell Blaine that I don't like all the cuddling. It'll crush him."

"No worries, man. Now I just gotta figure out a way to fix this whole mess with Rachel…"

Kurt snorted. "Good luck."

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><p>Finn hugged Rachel closer to his chest. Her breathing was starting to even out – a telltale sign of her falling asleep. After a few more minutes of silence, Rachel sighed.<p>

"Mmm, night Finn. Love you."

Finn smiled. "Love you too, Rach." Rachel buried her face into his chest in response. It was another half hour or so before Finn heard her soft snores. He looked down at her and pulled her closer to him, hugging her lightly. _Hug for her, roll for you_. He felt her smile into his shirt as he pulled her into him even tighter. He squeezed her tight one last time before rolling her over to the other side of the bed. _Yes! Victory! _When Finn tried to roll over, however, his right arm was stuck under Rachel's shoulder.

_How am I supposed to get out of this one? Wait…what if I did something like…like that magic trick with the tablecloth and the dishes. Yeah, just pull it out like the tablecloth. Okay…one…two…three!_

As Finn felt his arm being released, he heard a thump. When he opened his eyes, Rachel was on the floor, rubbing her head with a scowl on her face.

"Finn! What the hell was that?" Finn scrambled for an apology.

"I-I'm sorry! I was just trying to free my arm because you were laying on it, and I thought about the magic trick with the tablecloth and how you just pull it out, and all the dishes stay in place on the table and-and…! I'm sorry, Kurt told me to do it!"

Rachel gave him a disbelieving look. "Kurt told you to spinme _off_ the bed?"

"No! The hug and roll! He told me to do the hug and roll thing when you tried to cuddle and I wanted to sleep!"

"'Hug and roll?' What the hell is that?" she shrieked. Finn flinched.

"It's like, the thing where I hug you when you're falling asleep and then I roll you over to your side of the bed! Kurt said he does it all the time to Blaine when he doesn't want to cuddle!" Rachel gasped.

"You don't want to cuddle with me? Why don't you want to cuddle? Am I a bad cuddle-er?"

Finn's eyes widened. "No, no! You aren't a bad cuddle-er, a little clingy sometimes, but that's –"

"I'm _clingy_?"

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><p>"One medium drip, please."<p>

"That'll be $1.25." Blaine pulled out a couple of bills and handed it over to the barista.

"Keep the change," he said with a smile.

Blaine waited patiently at the counter for his morning coffee. The barista slid the cup over to him, careful not to spill any. He nodded his thanks and made his way over to his regular table. When he sat down, he pulled out his laptop and began working on his psychology essay. Unfortunately, he was only allowed a few minutes of peace before he was interrupted.

"Hi Blaine!" He looked up to the sound of the unmistakable voice of Rachel Berry.

"Hi Rachel," he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Fancy seeing you here, huh?"

"Of course. Especially since we, you know, live together and all." Rachel smiled sheepishly as she sat down across from him at the table. "Speaking of, you do remember that we share a wall, right?"

Rachel gave him a confused look. "Yeah, what about it?"

Blaine took a sip of his coffee, stalling. "Well you know, when you share a wall you hear…things."

"I am perfectly aware of that. I don't really see your point, though."

"Well let's just say that you and Finn weren't very good at keeping quiet last night."

Rachel looked taken aback. "Last night? But we didn't even do anything! We were just cuddling!"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Oh please Rachel, Kurt and I both heard you screaming in there."

"What? I was not scre- oh! No, no, I wasn't screaming because of…_that_. I was yelling at him. He spun me completely off the bed!"

"Look Rachel, not that I don't love you and all, but I'd rather not hear about your sex life with Finn. I mean, spinning? Really?" Rachel shook her head furiously.

"No, no! Not like _that_! He was just doing that 'hug and roll' thing that Kurt does with you," she said, taking a sip of her coffee. Blaine furrowed his brow in confusion.

"'Hug and roll' thing? What are you talking about?"

"You know, the thing he does when he doesn't want to cuddle with you? So then he hugs you when you're about to fall asleep and then rolls you over to your side so that he has his own space?" Blaine shook his head. "Oh. Well yeah. Finn tried that on me last night because apparently I'm clingy when I sleep! He completely spun me off the bed while trying to free his arm or something. I hit my head on the dresser." She waved a hand dismissively. "It's not such a huge deal. I'm never going to let Finn live this down though, if you know what I mean." Blaine nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. "But enough about all that. I could really use your opinion on an audition piece for the new musi-"

"You said that this 'hug and roll' thing was Kurt's idea?" Blaine asked, a conflicted look gracing his features. Rachel looked taken aback.

"Well, yeah. At least, that's what Finn told me. Anyway, about that audition pi-" Blaine interrupted again.

"And he said Kurt doesn't like cuddling? At all?" Rachel sighed, obviously getting frustrated with Blaine's constant interruptions.

"I don't know, Blaine. Finn just said that he got the 'hug and roll' thing from Kurt. If you're so curious as to how he feels about it, go ask him yourself."

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><p>Kurt's eyes snapped open to the sound of a door slamming and keys rattling. He sat up from the couch, rubbing his eyes furiously in an attempt to wake himself up. He glanced at the clock. It was almost eleven o'clock, which meant Blaine was probably the one who had just come home. Kurt smirked and headed for the kitchen where he heard Blaine moving about.<p>

He stood in the doorway for a moment, just drinking in the sight of his boyfriend, before moving over to him. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist and rested his head on his shoulder. Blaine stiffened underneath him, which was unusual. Normally Blaine would lean into the slightest touch from Kurt. _That's odd_, he thought. He decided to push his doubt to the side. If Blaine was upset with him, he wouldn't be able to hold it in for very long. When it came to problems in their relationship, Blaine had never been one to hide his feelings.

"Hi, hun," Kurt whispered. "How was work?"

Blaine shrugged in his arms. "It was work."

Kurt nodded against Blaine's shoulder. "Bad day, huh?"

"You could say that."

Kurt smiled. "Well, it's getting late, but what do you say to popping in a movie and snuggling up in our room? We can cuddle…" Kurt started to nuzzle his nose into Blaine's neck when he escaped his hold on him and headed to the other side of the kitchen. Kurt furrowed his brow as Blaine turned around.

"Why, so you can pull the ol' 'hug and roll' when you get tired of it?" Blaine crossed his arms in defiance. Kurt sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Finn told you?"

"No. Rachel." Blaine spun on his heel and walked into living room, Kurt following close behind.

"Blaine, honey, I'm sorry. It isn't that I don't love being close to you like that, it's just that when I want to sleep, I need my own space, you know? And then it was kind of a perfect solution because you never knew, and I didn't want to upset you or anything, so I just kind of…kept doing it. I'm sorry." At that point, Kurt was looking down at his feet. His head shot up when he heard a small chuckle from a few feet in front of him. Blaine was covering his mouth with his hand, his eyes closed as he laughed quietly. He looked up at Kurt smiling, and walked over to stand right in front of him.

"You are so cute when you get all worked up like that," he said quietly. As Blaine leaned closer, Kurt backed away.

"Wait a minute, hold on. You were so upset about that and now it's just no big deal? What's that about?"

"Look, babe, I'm not really upset about it anymore. I'll admit, I was at first, especially since I heard it from Rachel, of all people. But I'm not mad at you. I just wanted to give you grief for it," Blaine said with a wink. Kurt playfully glared at him.

"You are such a jerk," Kurt joked. He swatted at Blaine's arm, only to have him catch his hand and pull him in for a kiss. Kurt responded eagerly and kissed him back, his hand grabbing a fistful of Blaine's shirt and pulling him closer. Blaine smiled and pulled back slightly, their noses brushing against each others.

"We've always been honest with each other," Blaine started, squeezing Kurt's hand that was resting on his chest. "Let's not stop doing that now, 'kay?" Kurt nodded.

"'Kay," Kurt whispered. Blaine pressed another quick kiss to Kurt's lips before pulling away again.

"So about that offer for a movie and some cuddling…?" he asked hopefully. Kurt grinned.

"You are such a cuddleslut."

"Proud of it, babe."

Kurt looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, "I'm up for the cuddling, but is there any chance we could do a little something…_else_, too?" he whispered suggestively. Blaine smirked.

"I don't see why not." He leaned forward and breathed into Kurt's ear. "I'm up for _anything_."

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><p>It was ten-thirty before Kurt woke up the next morning. Blaine was still sleeping soundly after their…<em>busy<em> night together. When he walked into the kitchen, Finn was sitting at the table, his eyes focused on the TV in the living room as he ate his bowl of Golden Grahams. Kurt rolled his eyes as he headed to the fridge to get his daily glass of –

"You're out of orange juice," Finn said, never once taking his eyes off the screen. Kurt sighed heavily.

"Of course we are. Let me guess – you finished it off?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'll get you some more at the store later," Finn said with a mouthful of cereal. Kurt's shoulders sagged as he started to head back to his room. However, before he left the kitchen, he got a sudden idea. Kurt waltzed back into the kitchen and sat down in front of Finn, effectively blocking his view of the TV.

"Dude!"

"Before I go, there's just this one little thing that I thought I should tell you. It's really small, you might already even know it," Kurt rolled up a spare magazine sitting on the table and promptly smacked Finn in the side of the head with it. "Rachel _talks_."

And with that, Kurt left the kitchen, as well as a very confused Finn rubbing his temple to ponder what exactly he had done to deserve that.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

Oh boy! Wow, it's been forever since I posted something! Or at least it feels that way.

So! I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for quite a while now. It's based off the episode "The One with the Jam" from season 3 of Friends. Basically it's the storyline with Rachel, Ross, Chandler, and Janet, but I decided that it'd be so much fun to work with Finchel and Klaine on this one. Plus I can totally see Blaine being a cuddleslut and Kurt is just like, "NO, I NEED SPAAACCEEEE." You don't have to see the episode to enjoy it, it would just enhance the appreciation for it if you had seen it. :) Friends gives me some of the best ideas for stories. You can ask my sister (**psychopiratess**), because it's almost like every single time we watch an episode, at some point I turn to her and say, "Why do I want to write a story about this?" It's gotten to the point where she usually says, "You want to write a story about everything!"

Man, I've been working on this one for quite some time now. Like, a week. I made a bet with my grammar beta (**Xx-Twitch-xX**) that I could write a three-page, 12 pt. font, single spaced oneshot when she came over to my house. If I wrote at least three pages by the time she left, I'd get five bucks. Needless to say, I won. :D But I do thank her for getting me writing again. I'm just sorry that it took me a week to finish it. *le shrug*

Also! I got a Tumblr you guises! Incoming shameless pimping right...NOW! My tumblr screen name is the exact same as my fanfiction account - .com If you're interested in following, I most certainly would not be opposed! I post a on of Glee stuff, but it's also just a blog where I pretty much post anything so who knows what'll show up on there!

Thank you so much for reading! Reviews make my heart go WHEEEEEE! Love you guys!


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